Whoever cannot love today will never love, Will never make the choice a man makes, Will not build a house on a hill, Whoever is alone will stay alone a long time, Will walk through dark rooms of his house, After midnight, listening for a sounds of cars, And for the wind in the trees and morning will not come.
" I think you have to actually like the GUY as much as like the IDEA of the guy.. You know what I mean?" You don't have to answer this question to anyone but yourself, but in your most private mind, ask yourself: Why am I with this person? In this relationship I told you about earlier, one of the other reasons I was afraid to leave was that I couldn't stand the idea of someone else coming along after me and loving him, like maybe she had some secret magical power that could fix him. I would miss out on being with the good version of him. Staying with someone just because you don't want anyone else to have him- Hmmm, who wins there? There were a lot of good things in that relationship and I was also scared that I would never find those things again with someone else. The thing that finally made me leave was realizing that it was not okay to settle out of fear and that I had to love myself enough to let this go and trust that something better would come along....
I'm not saying this lightly, believe me! It's been more than a decade and I can now honestly say that as devastating as the experience I told you about was, it was a gift. Walking through that level of hell allowed me to find out what I was made of- and who I really am. Ironically, my character's name in the movie was Nomi, which over time came to symbolize to me how through this experience I came to "know me". And most important, the greatest gift the experience gave me was the inspiration to create lilyrohaiza, so that anyone everywhere could find their throws at them. I know that right now it might be hard to imagine that what you're experiencing will one day be a source of empowerment, so you might just have to trust me on this one. This will end and you'll come through the other side wiser, stronger and more compassionate for having been through it. And no one can take that away from you- ever! Love, Lily.
Comments
Post a Comment